This is the news for May 8th, 2007.
Last Thursday, Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez threatened to nationalize the country's banks and largest steel producer, accusing them of unscrupulous practices. He stated, "Private banks have to give priority to financing the industrial sectors of Venezuela at low cost," He then stated if they do not do what he asks, he will not only nationalize them, he will also make them actually have cash in the banks.
Jon S. Corzine, the governor of NJ resumed his political duties on Monday, nearly a month after a high-speed crash on the Garden State Parkway almost killed him. In a special interview Corzine stated that after the crash he had an out of body experience and went to a place that he thought was similar to NJ. Corzine wasn't sure what the place was, but what he was sure of is it wasn't Heaven.
Venezuela is stating that it will not allow U.S. agents to carry out counter-drug operations in their country, accusing the U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration of being a "new cartel" that aids traffickers. That wasn't the only accusation that Venezuela let fly about the DEA though, they also accused them of sell hats with the letters DEA on them to underage wiggers at the beach. An accusation that the DEA isn't denying.
Paris Hilton is being sentenced to a 45 day jail sentence after violating her probation from a previous driving offense. The judge sentenced her to spend those 45 days at a suburban Los Angeles jail. Her lawyer, Howard Weitzman, has said he will appeal "to modify the sentence." His plan is to change the housing facility from the suburban Los Angeles jail to a Super 8 run by Indians in the downtown area of Los Angeles, as they are roughly the same thing, except the Super 8 doesn't have a turn down service.
Bill Clinton announced that he has negotiated a deal with 2 manufacturers of the newly developed AIDS drugs to help reduce the costs of these drugs in low and middle income countries. Clinton said that the deal would generate an average savings of 25 percent in low-income countries and 50 percent in middle-income countries. Clinton went on to say that his involvement in this global consern came after he screwed a female with AIDS, but he swears he didn't blow his load.
Six Islamic militants from Yugoslavia and the Middle East were arrested on charges of plotting to attack the Fort Dix Army base in NJ and "kill as many soldiers as possible," authorities said Tuesday. The men were caught leaving the installation, and upon questioning stated, "well we were going to attack the base, but when we got there it looked like some one beat us to it." We remind our listeners that the base was in NJ.
An Arctic seal found in Florida far from its natural habitat in the North Pole has been taken to SeaWorld for treatment. The bearded seal is thin and dehydrated, responding only when touched by staff members, Dr. Christopher Dold, a staff veterinarian at SeaWorld, said. He then added that it responds much more when it is being ass raped, then demonstrated the action, turned and gave a SeaWorld buddy a high five.
